There is a Lady Sweet and Kind
There is a lady sweet and kind,
Was never a face so pleased my mind;
I did but see her passing by,
And yet I’ll love her till I die.
Her gesture, motion, and her smiles,
Her wit, her voice my heart beguiles,
Beguiles my heart, I know not why,
And yet I’ll love her till I die.
Cupid is winged and he doth range,
Her country, so, my love doth change:
But change she earth, or change she sky,
Yet, I will love her till I die.
by Thomas Ford.
So, Cupid’s arrow has finally got you – and you’re ready to declare your feelings towards your girl. You want to make a commitment, but maybe an engagement ring is a bit too soon. A Promise ring can be the solution – a way of confirming your feelings and symbolising your commitment to the relationship at the same time.
Promise rings can be given for a wide range of reasons, such as: the confirmation of friendship; a promise to remain faithful to your partner; a promise to refrain from sexual activity until marriage or as an exchange of rings prior to living together as a symbol of intent to eventually get married. It is important therefore that if you are planning to give your girl a promise ring, you make it quite clear to her what your feelings and intentions are.
There are no specific rules for buying a Promise ring for your girlfriend – Promise rings for women come in many different metals and styles – and there are even matching promise rings for couples. Popular styles are single solitaire and 3 stone gemstone rings and if you’re feeling really romantic then maybe a heart shaped stone will warm her heart. Whilst we’ve all heard that diamonds are supposed to be “a girl’s best friend”, you don’t need to feel that you have to buy one. Buying a gemstone that’s your girl’s favourite color, or her birthstone – or even the birthstone that’s symbolic of the month in which you first met, can be romantic and meaningful enough.
If you’d like to buy her a diamond but right now you can’t afford it, then just buy her a really nice promise ring that you know she’ll love and start saving up for that special engagement ring for when you pop the question later on. See our birthstone chart below for gemstones to choose from. Oh, and if you need to find out her ring size, check out our “How to find out your girlfriend’s ring size” article for tips on how to do this without her finding out.
However, the next step after buying the ring is how you go about declaring your feelings and intent. If you want the occasion to be really romantic – and your girlfriend will really appreciate it if it is – then it will take a little bit of planning. Guys often feel a little self conscious about this sort of thing – and that’s quite understandable, so here are a few ideas:
- If she’s a softy for poetry, then how about writing out the Olde England poem at the top of this page – or cut and paste it onto some parchment style paper . Then roll the paper into a scroll and tie it with a beautiful piece of red ribbon thru which you’ve threaded your promise ring – and then pop a long stemmed red rose thru the scroll. Now all you need is a romantic venue in which to give it to her – watch her go gooey-eyed and then the rest is up to you.
This one is great for Valentine’s Day.
- Chocolate played an important part in the Aztec’s betrothal ceremonies – and of course the Aztecs also loved gold. Just about every girl loves chocolate, so how about inviting her round for a romantic chocolate feast. Aztecs used to froth up their chocolate, so make up some hot frothy chocolate in large mugs, buy a rich dark chocolate cake and light some chocolate perfumed candles. Prior to this, check out the yummiest chocolate store where you can hand select your chocolates and get them packed into a pretty box – but, just before they tie it up with a bow, you pop the ring in. The only thing you have to ensure with this trick is to give her the chocolate box before she eats all the chocolate cake – otherwise she’ll be so stuffed with chocolate she’ll not want to open the box!
- This is a good one for a special day – Just about everyone loves the excitement of a treasure hunt – so make it a Christmas, NewYear, Easter, Birthday, Thanksgiving…. whatever you like, Treasure Hunt. Make sure you’ve got lots of little presents (including your Promise Ring) that you can wrap up and hide around the place. Make sure that you number all the parcels in the order in which you want her to open them – ie with the ring box last.
TIP: If you’ve got a big house, I’d recommend only hiding them in one room – and keep a note of where you’ve hidden each present as it’s amazing how easy it is to forget one of them – and then discover it 6 months later!
Put some great hunt the parcels music on and tell you girlfriend how many she’s looking for. Feed her chocolate dipped strawberries (or something equally yummy, whilst she’s looking for the presents) and give her clues as to whether she’s getting warmer or colder as she’s getting close or not to the pressies. Crank up the excitement as much as you can. Putting little cryptic clues on the outside of each present can get her wondering what on earth is going on.
Once she’s found all the presents, get her to open them one by one and in number order. If you’re really clever, you can probably find a way for the presents to have an underlying meaning to the final box with the Promise Ring. For example, maybe you can buy little things that are symbolic of the different places and things that you have done since you first met.
Finally, when she opens the ring box, she’ll have the big surprise.
You may want to put a little note in with the box or say the words yourself – depends how brave you’re feeling. However, by the time she’s raced around the place and opened up all those pressies - and found the ring – it should be a walkover for you!